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This poor guy is still trapped in his house but is trying to help ME even
with all his problems.
>Dear Mister Slob
>Thanks for the products you sold me. They are great.
>For the first time ever I can operate my valves even though I can't reach
them. I can >now float, keep warm AND eat a pizza. I really love the new
drysuit with the >expanding panels and am incorporating the idea in all of my
clothes.
>I am so greatful for your help that now I want to help you.
>Although I have still not got out of the apartment, I have some advice on
new sports >for you, since we are about the same size and you cant dive
anymore.
>You should forget about mountain biking. I tried this but my ass swallowed
up the >bike whole and it took three doctors to remove it. Skydiving is no
good as the >chute would need to be the size of the Astrodome. Try something
simple, like >checkers, it doesn't require much agility and is not too taxing
on the brain, or tic >tac toe if you prefer a less complex game.
>As for your gear, the drysuit might come in handy if you decide to ice skate
this >winter. Or you could sell it to the Boy Scouts for camping trips. You
could use it >to tent you house in case of termite infestation.
>Hope this helps.
In a slob to slob way, I really feel for this guy because he is just like
myself, a totally useless pontificating slob trying to cover his
worthlessness. We both talk about things we can't do and will never be able
to do. We both talk the talk but still eat the pizza.
I am working on new products just for him. The Cobbigbelly DIY Stomach
Staple Kit comes with a staple gun on the end of a Cobbwinder and is
designed to be inserted orally since the only part of my body I can reliably
reach is my mouth. Once inserted simply turn the knob and staple away! The
Cobbigbelly DIY Stomach Staple Kit comes complete with all attachments and as
an added bonus it comes with a free roll Cobbigmouth Duct Tape. This is a
special tape used to shut up pontificating slobs and is guaranteed to stick
while they talk even with food in their mouths!
So long as there are pontificating slobs in desperate need of guidance and
help I will continue to selflessly work on new CobbtheSlob Products.
--
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