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> -----Original Message----- > From: billy@v3*.co*.au* [mailto:billy@v3*.co*.au*] > Sent: Thursday, April 26, 2001 12:04 AM > To: techdiver@aquanaut.com > Subject: The Best of Dr. Michael J. Black <snip> > Someone might like to post this list over on rec.scuba as well. I > believe the doctore has been known to leave snail-trails of > ignorance and dangerous misadvice over there too. No, actually he has been blissfully gone from rec.scuba since the demise of deja. One would find it easy to accept that he isn't smart enough to figure out how to use public servers. But I did find this. This was written in response to Black attempt at flaming Randy Milak, where Black decided trimix was needed for a 60 foot lake dive: Black, you are an idiot. Only *you* would make a post as stupid as the one you just posted, especially in the face of what Randy posted to you. *You* telling Randy to pay attention, now *that's* a knee slapper!!! Lets see, that would be an END of, um, er, ahhh, sixty feet!!!! If you would quit smoking so much dope before you dive, you wouldn't have to deal with narcosis at 60 feet. Or have you and Gilliam been up to some secret Experimentation? Perhaps a combination of beer, pot, and nitrous oxide in your breathing gas? Moron!!! The ideal gas at 60 feet, cost or not, would be 36% OEA. Basically, a no deco limit dive, and you could bail to the surface at any point and probably not get hit. Decoplanner says you would have a 120 minute bottom time, with a 6 minute stop at 20fsw. Do you and your pony carry enough gas to pull off a 120 minute dive? No, then I guess you would have a no deco time a lot longer than your gas supply would last. Wayyyy longer than your brain supply would last. And you wouldn't even have to, and again I quote you, "carry 40% in your pony in case an unplanned decompression profile develops." Just to entertain your blissful ignorance, if you were to use 36/50 trimix, you would have a 42-minute stop at 20 fsw, for a bottom time of 120 minutes. 36/33 would give us a 20 fsw for 16 stop. Is the picture starting to form yet? Feel any tingles of realization? (I doubt it!) I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid at zero degrees Kelvin. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape kind of stupid. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on the warm side of Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, dive, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case, then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicapped space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you (like passing gas, for instance). We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Michael J. Black, MD, and his Internet escapades, we know this is not true. If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to ride a piss ants motorcycle around the inside of a Cheerio. If brains were intestinal methane, you wouldn't have enough to do a one-cheek sneak. If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose. Stick your head in your floppy drive and type "Format a:". Your intelligence is a Kronecker delta function which spikes at the value "moron". You are too stupid to live. Go down to the glue factory, where they dispose of old horses, and volunteer to be disposed of. There is too much chlorine in your gene pool. There is a remarkably high probability that the only reason you were born, was because the drugstores were closed on Sunday. Did your parents have any children that survived? Did your parents survive? Have they been fully prosecuted for bringing you into this world? You are unacquainted with net use rules and etiquette, and you are probably in the running for a Darwin Award. You have all of the charm of an ambulance-chasing pettifogger, all of the wit of a 13-year old Mongoloid child, all of the subtlety of a used car salesman, all the humor of an open mass grave, and all of the intellectual depth of a cocaine-addicted carnie. One of these days, someone is gonna grab you by the ears, and pull you on like a sock. Scott -- Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'. Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.
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