At 04:46  26/10/00 , Steven Bliim wrote:
>Is this a dumb and dumber type question?
>  
>Steve B
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: MHK [mailto:mhkane@pr*.ne*]
>Sent: Thursday, 26 October 2000 9:28
>To: aquanaut
>Subject: Trey I have a question for you...
>
>
>I have been arguing on our California NG for the last couple of weeks
>against the solo, deep air cowboys..  I have a *experienced* diver who has
>been arguing in favor of a system called *independent* diving.  After
>several exchanges he finally defined it as a system that has someone
>underwater without anyone else and/or a group of diver's scattered about
>without anyone else around..  He supports this system because it was written
>in a book called *solo* diving published in 1990 by Best Publishing...  When
>we called Best Publishing they said they are no longer printing the book
>because the protocols are outdated, but yet this idiot is still standing
>behind the merits of *independent* diving..
>  
>So my question to you is, who do you think is dumber;
>  
>1)  A doctor that advocates using 40% in his *pony* yielding a P02 of 1.9 as
>a bailout;  or
>  
>2)  A guy who has been diving for 35 years and is offering himself up as a
>mentor to newbie diver's in our area to anyone that wants to learn how to
>*independently* dive?????
>  
>FTR, our new buffoon is 60+ yrs old, in and out of drug and alcohol rehab
>and mandates that you clip off your weightbelt off the side of the boat
>because he is to out of shape to get back on the boat with his weighbelt on
>and also advocates using an elevated level of F02 in his *pony*..
>  
>So who do you think is dumber????

I think both could be valuable props in a properly orchestrated DIR
stage presentation.

The buffoon should be sat on the stage, at the front side, Solo Diving 
book in hand. Periodically, the DIR presenter references the dangers of 
deep air and the cumulative neurological damage it causes. At which point,
the follow-spot swings on to "Clyde" the buffoon who, as a mumbling, 
incoherent mess, serves as a perfect illustration of the dangers of 
repeated high ppN2s. If he can be induced to drool (a little novocaine 
in his hip-flask should do the trick) all the better, though you might 
have to throw in an off-stage side light with a cutter to make the 
spittle glisten effectively.

The poor Dr Buttcrack is a little harder to cast, having neither the
reading ability, the up-to-the-minute library, the stage presence, nor 
the rapier-like wit of "Clyde". 

I know. He could be the warm-up man. The trick is to keep him away from 
the diving part of the show 'cause he's a total pit of ignorance there,
but wouldn't he be great entertainment while the late-comers are taking 
their seats?

He could come on, sans culottes, and demonstrate his incredible console-
carrying capacity by stuffing a series of progressively more heavily-
laden consoles up his no-doubt capacious unit until the audience leans
back and holds its collective breath in fear of a very loud explosion 
of some kind.

First, the basic two-dialer. Fwpp! Gone! Then one with two dials and
and a compass. Fwppp! Easy! Next, the one with his knife and scissors 
mounted to it, Fwwwppp!! Followed by the console with all of that 
attached and his slate as well! Fwwwppp!!  And why not a pony full of 
40% too! FFwwwppp!! Oh!! Yes!! And another!! Why not!!! FFwwwppp!!!

Now I don't know what the ultimate carrying-capacity of the Black hole
is, so I don't know exactly how long his act might go on, but at the 
appropriate moment, we could end it (and bring the house down) by 
sending Jim Bowden and Nuno Gomez in on a Harley and side-car outfit. 

They circle the stage twice, then thunder up a broken boat ladder 
strategically sited behind the doctor, and, as he bends and braces,
they fly in a graceful arc through the air and disappear beyond Black's
event threshold for ever. FFFFwwwwwpppp!!

Now, if in the process, we exceed Butcrack's fundamental capacity
and the asshole explodes, well, that's entertainment. And not only
do we get a laugh, sport diving in general and technical diving in 
particular, take a giant leap forward.

I reckon you could sell tickets to this one.

rgds   billyw

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