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Cheers 'Willy' See, now I _know_ I wasn't being unreasonably paranoid about sharing the sea with orcas!! Quiet day at the office?? :-) Fi > Hi, I'm Willy the Orca. Jim Cobb has kindly allowed me to borrow his account > to do a dive report of my own. Of course for you that would really be the > equivalent of you humans writing a "living room report," but that's nether > here nor there. > Anyway me and my podmates was out heading towards a local squid bar because > we were sick of fur burgers and besides the service at the Rocks really > sucks. We were headed towards the Wood Pile were there is usually nice tuna > buffet on hand. > As we approached the Wood Pile we could pick up the sound of a floating > rock. "oh, shit" we thought, "there goes the neighborhood." But were > reallllly sick of seal (I ate one that gave me the squirts and my 'ol lady > got a skull caught in her throat, I had to jam her in gut to pop it out) so > we decided to see if we could horn in on the action and maybe tear up some > of those fish bags the floating rocks drag around trying scarf up the > buffet. > We started to circle the wood pile when we scanned some seals jumping in the > water off the floating rock! Fuck it, thought I, food is food and we started > to home in on the slow moving fur burgers. But wait, these were some really > weird burgers! As we scanned them they appeared to have hollow rocks > attached to their backs! Waaaait a minute this was really getting weird, as > we approached closer these seals had a very strange body configuration and > smelled like the turd pipes down at the shore sticks. > I gave them a real sweep scan and almost lost my mackerel breakfast... One > of them has some sort of infection on his, uh, "willy", another had clogged > blood pipes and yet another had nothing but a walnut in his skull case! I > asked the other podsters what the fuck. "Oh, those are humans, completely > inedible, you eat one and you will get a case of the galloping trots that > will last until our warm water vacation, if it doesn't kill you outright." > "Oh, yeah" I though, "Uncle Willy The First made the mistake of taking a > bite out of a dead one a few years back and had to beach himself about a > half hour later. Before he took off his last words were "man, that tasted > like shit". > So, we toyed with going and just scaring the shit out the them for the fun > of it when we picked up the chatter and blowholes of some tasty water rats > cavorting near by. They're hard to catch but boy, are they good eating! > But the next time I come across some of those nasty, stinky, deceased > humans, I'm gonna give them a good, close look at my choppers and see if > they shit and piss in terror just like the seals and water rats, that oughta > be fun! > Reporting from the top of the food chain- > Willy the Orca > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > -- Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'. Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.
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