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(in the sprit of the Far Side) Hi, I'm Willy the Orca. Jim Cobb has kindly allowed me to borrow his account to do a dive report of my own. Of course for you that would really be the equivalent of you humans writing a "living room report," but that's nether here nor there. Anyway me and my podmates was out heading towards a local squid bar because we were sick of fur burgers and besides the service at the Rocks really sucks. We were headed towards the Wood Pile were there is usually nice tuna buffet on hand. As we approached the Wood Pile we could pick up the sound of a floating rock. "oh, shit" we thought, "there goes the neighborhood." But were reallllly sick of seal (I ate one that gave me the squirts and my 'ol lady got a skull caught in her throat, I had to jam her in gut to pop it out) so we decided to see if we could horn in on the action and maybe tear up some of those fish bags the floating rocks drag around trying scarf up the buffet. We started to circle the wood pile when we scanned some seals jumping in the water off the floating rock! Fuck it, thought I, food is food and we started to home in on the slow moving fur burgers. But wait, these were some really weird burgers! As we scanned them they appeared to have hollow rocks attached to their backs! Waaaait a minute this was really getting weird, as we approached closer these seals had a very strange body configuration and smelled like the turd pipes down at the shore sticks. I gave them a real sweep scan and almost lost my mackerel breakfast... One of them has some sort of infection on his, uh, "willy", another had clogged blood pipes and yet another had nothing but a walnut in his skull case! I asked the other podsters what the fuck. "Oh, those are humans, completely inedible, you eat one and you will get a case of the galloping trots that will last until our warm water vacation, if it doesn't kill you outright." "Oh, yeah" I though, "Uncle Willy The First made the mistake of taking a bite out of a dead one a few years back and had to beach himself about a half hour later. Before he took off his last words were "man, that tasted like shit". So, we toyed with going and just scaring the shit out the them for the fun of it when we picked up the chatter and blowholes of some tasty water rats cavorting near by. They're hard to catch but boy, are they good eating! But the next time I come across some of those nasty, stinky, deceased humans, I'm gonna give them a good, close look at my choppers and see if they shit and piss in terror just like the seals and water rats, that oughta be fun! Reporting from the top of the food chain- Willy the Orca ------------------------------------------------------------------- Learn About Trimix at http://www.cisatlantic.com/trimix/ > From: Edward Watson <ted.watson@ze*.co*.uk*> > Date: Wed, 12 Jul 2000 00:01:14 +0100 > To: techdiver@aquanaut.com > Subject: RE: Orcas > > Thanks to all for their thoughts! > We went ahead as planned on Sunday, calm seas, almost got too warm on > deck. Although the orcas were still around we never saw them, however > we were treated to 20 or 30 dolphins in the sound, presumably herded > there by the whales. > The dive was superb, the plankton bloom of the last few weeks finally > dying off, it was murky in the top layers, but had improved to an > acceptable 10-15m or so below. The wreck, a 1903 steamship,is in two > halves, the break being just forward of the boilers with a gap of > about 10m between the two halves. We came down onto the forward > winch, wandered aft into the holds, and onto the debris field, > pausing at the helm to look for the compass, all we found were bits > of it, the rest having corroded away. The bridge area has all > collapsed onto the seabed, we are slowly working out which bit > relates to the photograph of her, helped by the numbered portholes. > It was clear enough to swim over to the stern section, only the > second time we've done it, and have a better look at the break and > the engines. The cochran boiler and two larger main boilers standing > clear, the decking all caved in around the engine makes it look > bigger - we must shot this section next time and spend more time just > on this bit or the ship. > All too soon it was time to turn and head back, over a bit of mast, > sections of decking, and assorted bits and pieces to the forward > section, and a quick look down in the focsle stores, > where the spare porthole glasses, bits of navigation lights, bottles, > spares for cargo handling all still lie. > Leaving the wreck, the tide starting to run slightly, we all kept a > wary eye out for stray orcas - as the lowest pair of divers I felt > very vulnerable, irrational really... but having watched them taking > seals off the rocks 2 days earlier... I tried really hard not to > think about it(and failed). We still managed a head on collision with > a lions mane at the 6m stop - ouch! At a balmy 11 degrees the water > was warm, and the time passed quickly. Its so much easier handing off > stages when you've still got feeling in your hands - maybe I could > manage to be a warm(er) water diver after all. > Orcas are summer transients here, they first started coming inshore > about 5 years ago, mainly around Sumburgh head, where the big seal > colonies are, but they are becoming more common, so we'll probably > encounter them more often over the coming summers > > > F > > > > -- > Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'. > Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'. > -- Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'. Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.
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