I'll be glad when this damn thing stop going around, I get it at least once 
a week for the last 2 YEARS , Its giving me a bad day!

At 08:50 PM 4/10/00 -0700, Ted Phelps wrote:


>My brother sent this over to me, and I could think of no more appropriate
>place to put it than on this list.  It is not my purpose here to generate a
>discussion over how "strokish" it is to use warm water in your wetsuit or to
>analyze this poor wretch's decompression program.  It is simply here to add
>a little mirth to your day:
>
>
>         > Next time you think you have had a bad day, think about this guy...
> > Brian is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers out of
> > Louisiana and performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
> > Below is an email he sent to his sister. She sent it to Laughline and
> > won the contest (he wasn't thrilled with her for that one).
> >
> > Anyway...anytime you think you have had a bad day at the office,
> > remember this guy.
> >
> > April 1998
> >
> >
> >   Hi Sue,
> > Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a
> > bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
> > so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
> > not so bad after all.
> >
> > Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
> > few technicalities of my job. As you know my office lies at the bottom
> > of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of
> > year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
> > have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
> > shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp.
> > It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped
> > to the air hose.
> >
> > Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times
> > with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
> > working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck. This
> > floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi.
> > Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch.
> > of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
> > seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but
> > the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot
> > water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. This
> > is even worse than the poison ivy you once had under a cast.
> >
> > Now I had that hose down my back. I don't have any hair on my back, so
> > the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as
> > fortunate.  When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
> > grinding the jellyfish into my ass.
> >
> > I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
> > instructions were unclear due to the fact that he along with 5 other
> > divers were laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I
> > was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
> > 35 minutes before I could come to the surface for my chamber dry
> > decompression.  I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass
> > helmet. My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board the
> > medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
> > cream and told me to shove it" up my ass" when I get in the chamber. The
> > cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my
> > asshole was swollen shut.
> >
> > I later found out that this could easily have been prevented if the
> > suction hose was placed on the leeward side of the ship. Anyway, the
> > next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how
> > much worse your day would be if you were to shove a jellyfish up your
> > ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you do, I hope
> > this will make them more tolerable.
> >
> > Take care, and I hope to hear from you soon.
> >
> > Brian.
> >
>
>
>
>Ted Phelps
>
>--
>Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'.
>Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.

"You can't learn to dive on the net, sooner or later you have to get in the 
water"
Your Guide to Great Wreck Diving along the East Coast & more
  Web Site  http://www.capt-jt.com/
Email     captjt@mi*.co*


--
Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'.
Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.

Navigate by Author: [Previous] [Next] [Author Search Index]
Navigate by Subject: [Previous] [Next] [Subject Search Index]

[Send Reply] [Send Message with New Topic]

[Search Selection] [Mailing List Home] [Home]