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Doin' it Right (DIR) How to rig your outfit the DIR way. Remember its team work. Basics Please note: It would be extremely irresponsible, dangerous, and foolish for you to assemble and wear this rig without understanding exactly why you're doing it and what each little detail means. Keep it simple Too many people today seem under the impression that more is always better. The basic principles of the DIR outfit are this: 1. Remove all unnecessary equipment - take all you need, but only what you need. 2. Each member of the team should be wearing an identical outfit. This makes it easy to understand each other's equipment and in an emergency, kit can be swapped or cross-patched. Lets look at each item starting from the top. Hair Almost goes without saying that it should be kept short, no more than 1 inch on top. For easy identification, it should be parted slightly to the left. Other styles: A French crop would appear to be a suitable alternative at first glance, it presents a number of problems: 1. A considerable increase in task loading as it requires visiting decent hairdressers in the first place and regular maintenance after that. 2. Usually requires some form of gel/mousse. The use of hair products is strictly for strokes and only serves to increase drag and reduce efficiency. Other Styles to Avoid: Quiff - too much task loading due to the maintenance Mullet - although popular in Holland and Germany, it really doesn't get any more unfashionable than this. And anyway a haircut named after a fish? - I ask you. Curly mop - although it requires no real maintenance there is a distinct likelihood of being mistaken for Sheck Exley, Rob Palmer or Bill Stone (the horror of it). Moustache - not strictly a hair cut, you may end up being mistaken for one of the above. It can create an even worse scenario when combined with crop hair - you just end up looking like one of the Village People. Glasses Simple wire rimmed are essential, as they are light and unobtrusive. Designer glasses are not acceptable because they are too individual and therefore cannot be interchanged with another team member in an emergency. T-shirt This is a key part of the outfit and whilst there are many t-shirts on the market, the DIR shirt must have the following criteria: White Egyptian cotton Short sleeves - the correct length must be 5 inches - any longer and there is a risk of entanglement, any shorter and there is a risk that they'll look like those cap sleeve T-shirts that were worn in the 70s (thus precipitating a major fashion incident). T-shirt markings The DIR logo on the front should be a discrete 2 inches as you will be instantly recognisable anyway. Beware of large oversize type, as this is dangerously 80s (e.g. Frankie Says Relax). The back of the T-shirt should have a much larger logo (at least 12 inches) with the words 'No Strokes' written on it. This will allow you to be clearly seen by other team members who may be looking for you in a conference room or busy pub. There is no excuse for incorrect T-shirt markings - although other agencies recommend other sizes and colours it may lead to other team members failing to recognise you. Always analyse your T-shirt before wearing it. Picking up a T-shirt from the drawer or the shop without properly checking it first could be dangerous. A recent incident occurred when a Genesis Tour T-shirt was mistakenly bought from a shop (the label hadn't been checked) in the belief that it was actually a bonafide DIR T-shirt. Trousers Levis regular 501's with the button fly. The key thing about these is that they have the correct number of pockets and most significantly, exactly 5 belt loops of 1 1/2 inch diameter. There has been a trend away from jeans and towards combat trousers in the belief that the extra pockets will come in useful. This is wrong. Its just a fashion thing and creates an atmospheric trapping effect. Belt Brown leather, 1 inch in width. These fit best into the 501's belt loops and stay properly in place. Extras like studs should be avoided as they may snag. Shoes Timberland desert shoes. Colour: sand. Makes for easy identification of other team members and allows for interchangeability if you end up putting your foot in it and ending up on your back-up shoe. Avoid boots as they create drag (especially in thigh length patent leather) Shoelaces Must not be cross threaded through the islets as they will make removal and replacement difficult in the event of a major shoelace failure. Harness Leather, rubber, studs - just say no. This is Doin' It Right! (not an S&M convention - though lets face it, easy mistake to make) But if you really want to know how to rig your harness, go to Wacko! Brill words not mine. -- Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'. Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.
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