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A new company had been formed today, a shining light which will guide poor, dumb, undertrained scuba divers to a whole new way. I'd like to announce the: (drum roll please) SUPER DUPER PONY SYSTEM WITH THE PATENTED AUTO-FILL TOGETHERNESS PIPE (TM)! That's right, our new company the Wahorubiscaleco has developed a new pony system gar-in-teed to save the dumbest, most clueless diver from him or herself. That's right, our research had show that the thing a diver needs most while underwater is AIR. Thats right, AIR and LOTS OF IT! It has been determined that the one thing divers fear more that anything else is not having enough AIR, *when you need it most*! Imagine this scenario- There you are in a horrible wreck when, suddenly A VICIOUS LOBSTER GRABS YOUR FINGER IN A UNRELEASABLE DEATH GRIP FROM HELL. With every breath you creep CLOSER TO DEATH! AS YOU STRUGGLE WITH THE INSANE DEMONIC LOBSTER YOUR VERY LIFES BLOOD IS LEAVING YOUR BODY IN HUGE BUBBLES! What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO???? AS ANY DIVER WILL TELL YOU, YOU BURN 150% MORE AIR WHEN YOUR FINGER IS BEING CRUSHED TO A PULP BY THE EVIL DEVIL-LOBSTER! Your life slowy fades away as your tiny pony is sucked to a vaccum by your bleeding lungs. Think about it.. THINK ABOUT IT!!! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?! So why fuck around with a lousy 30 cubic feet of spare air? With our SUPER DUPER PONY SYSTEM WITH THE PATENTED AUTO-FILL TOGETHERNESS PIPE (TM) you will have a full 80 CUBIC FEET OF AIR! Our technology department has been working FULL TIME to come up with such astounding features such as the PATENTED TOGETHERNESS PIPE which automatically, yes you heard me right, AUTOMATICALLY fills your SUPER DUPER PONY SYSTEM every time you fill with gas! How does it work? Well, it's a little complicated and we don't want to give any of you divers out there headaches so just TRUST US, IT WORKS! AND, for NO EXTRA COST we include the patented SUPER DUPER PONY SYSTEM ATTACHMENT BRACKET! That right, our patented bracket centers BOTH TANKS ON YOUR BACK! You won't even know the pony is there! So don't delay, CALL TODAY THE SUPER DUPER PONY SYSTEM WITH THE PATENTED AUTO-FILL TOGETHERNESS PIPE (TM) is available for only $899 (plus tax) Supply is limit (unlike your air supply after you get one!) so call today! ------------------------------------------------------------------- Learn About Trimix at http://www.cisatlantic.com/trimix/trimix.html -- Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'. Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.
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