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> Albert Mengele wrote:
>  
> Dear Mr. Zambeck,
> 
> A colleague of mine has brought your interesting case to my attention.
> Having studied the effects of hypothermia on numerous test subjects
> during the 1940s I discovered that near freezing water was very
> efficacious in the preservation of  reusable body tissues.  I am very
> intrigued by the possibility that you may have certain organs available
> in the near future and feel that it is my duty to apprise you of the
> steps necessary to assure a high state of viability.
> 
> As you may be aware, emergency medical facilities have established
> procedures for dealing with Code Gold cases such as the  impending
> scenario following this upcoming "challenge" dive of yours.  It is very
> critical to get these body parts separated from the cadaver prior to the
> onset of rigor mortis.  Generally speakiing several fishing coolers
> filled with fresh ice will do the job.  Since I am informed that you
> anticipate the availability of multiple cadavers I feel that you should
> take measures to have the necessary staff on hand to perform the post
> mortem dismemberment and transportation (helicopter is preferable) to the
> many sites throughout the country which will surely be very pleased to
> obtain some of these spent body parts.
> 
>  It is very important to properly decompress these tissues as it wouldbe 
> shameful to waste perfectly useful  organs.  This is especially true for
> the corneas as the recipient will probably not appreciate staring through
> bubbles for the balance of their life.    I would kindly ask you to place
> a large identifying X over your abdominal area so that we will know not
> to reuse your liver as I am told it's cirrhotic state would render it
> ineffective.   I think that we can recycle most of your friend Mr. Darryl
> as he seems not to suffer from  the same dimensional challenge that you
> do.  
> 
> Sadly, due to your intellectually challenged state we will not be able to
> make use of your cerebral tissues.  Do not despair however, as there may
> be a high value on your brain since it's diminuitive size makes it a
> highly prized specimen by certain tissue banks who collect examples of 
> bizarre neurological aberrations.  My associate Dr. Ripley has suggested
> that if there are no takers he can place your preserved brain on display
> side by side with his collection of  two headed salamanders, giant
> barking cockroaches and radiation deformed blow flys.
> 
> I couldn't help but notice that you are planning to employ a
> decompression schedule developed by Dr. X.    May I be so bold as to
> recommend that you contact Dr. Chris Parrett and kindly request that he
> develop a custom profile which takes into account your particular large
> cross sectional area and mental deficiencies. Your obvious dyslexia makes
> me suspicious that your frontal lobes are inadequately perfused which may
> lead to further necrosis and compound your profound intellectual
> impairment.
> 
> I will be in the Whitefish Point area this winter as I am compiling a
> directory of organ donor sites which show great upcoming promise.  
> Please contact me if you have any questions.
> 
> Warmest best wishes,
> 
> Dr. Albert Mengele
>
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