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From: "Cory B. Kravit" <cbk26@mi*.co*>
To: <cavers@ge*.co*>, <techdiver@aquanaut.com>
Subject: Re: warning: contains opinions
Date: Fri, 31 Oct 1997 21:37:03 -0500
I think Chris was just pissed off that those listed as the Best/Worst
dressed in George Magazine weren't wearing the skimpy queer outfits with
"Winnie-the-Pooh" bedroom slippers like he is used to seeing men wear.

-----Original Message-----
From: Brown, Christopher <techvid@ne*.co*>
To: cavers@ge*.co* <cavers@ge*.co*>; techdiver@aquanaut.com
<techdiver@aquanaut.com>; fredg@sc*.co* <fredg@sc*.co*>
Date: Friday, October 31, 1997 7:10 PM
Subject: warning: contains opinions


>Never have I gotten so many laffs as I did from the recent unctuous umbrage
>and spates of spittle concerning the sophisticated sensibilities of our
>fellow list-readers -- and all the bleating about their ever-so-high
>personal ethical standards regarding the role of journalism in today's
>society.
>
>I was still chuckling to myself as I slipped on my Winnie-the-Pooh bedroom
>slippers and shuffled up Scarp and out to the mailbox, to see what my Rural
>Route Carrier and Gun Club Member had brought me today.
>
>There among the Christmas catalogs and soft headed money solicitations I
>found a few new periodicals which I, with free will and an open mind, have
>purchased, and a few others which I have not, but show up from time to time
>anyway.
>
>I was flipping thru the new issue of JFK Jr.'s magazine "George" (ironic,
>huh?) and, lo and behold, what do I find but an article about the Worst and
>Best-Dressed in DC! No kidding! Suddenly I am in-sensed! How dare these
>"journalists" criticize the attire of the leadership in our nation's
>capital? I couldn't believe it! What gives these magazine guys the right to
>use their magazine to write their opinions about the way our country's
>policy-makers shop for threads? So mad was I that I quickly changed into my
>pointy-toed, bond-trader's alligator skin Gucci flip-flops (with tassle)
>and hit the floor looking for a cat to kick -- but she got away, lucky her.
>
>
>Disgusted, I continued sifting the pile and pulled out the "Congressional
>Quarterly", confidant that at least here I'd find some probing, perceptive,
>political points to ponder -- that I agree with. And guess what? Only
>*half* of what I read was palatable! That's right! And here I am *paying*
>for the damned thing on my 10W-40 form -- yet have to read drivel not of my
>own making! Some of those people up there in Warshingtun just don't see
>things *correctly* -- the way I do! Was I ever pissed! I immediately
>realized that at least half the people in our government keep trying to
>change it -- and ought to be shipped to some other country if they don't
>like it here. By the non-union, non-striking, multi-national overseas
>carrier of their choice! I wasn't about to examine ideas that I don't
>already agree with! What, do they take me for a fool? So I put this putrid
>publication next to the commode where I could get some use out of it later,
>while voting with my heart.
>
>Next I discovered the new issue of "Real Goods", and along with blurbs
>about solar-powered wrist watches, it was chock full of bits about
>phosphate-free douches, hemp kitty litter, adobe out-houses, recycled
>bidets, and environmentally friendly wart eradicators. What's *that* got to
>do with *saving energy*? There was NOT ONE PARAGRAPH TOUTING THE BENEFITS
>OF FOSSIL FUELS! How biased and myopic can you get? What about fair play?
>What about the other side of the coin of the realm? These publishers ought
>to be tarred and feathered! And sued!! I threw the damned thing underneath
>the oil pan of my 1968 Opel where it could do some good, sopping up the
>leaking lifeblood of our country.
>
>With a brow deeply furrowed I sought some solace from the world's problems,
>and decided to stroll the fields outside. For some perspective, I figured
>it might be useful to walk a mile in another pair of shoes, so I slipped
>into my tractor-soled boots, dug up my copy of International Harvester's
>"Plow, Plant, and Pluck" and went for a walk on the lower forty. As I
>strolled the fence line and leafed the pages, looking for a seed of an
>idea, it hit me like a ton of alfalfa. All the photos showed IH machines!!
>There wasn't a single thing in there about Caterpillar or John Deere. The
>experience was harrowing, to say the least. I was getting a slant towards
>nothing but row after row of the publisher's OWN PRODUCTS! Yes, you read it
>here! Is that *fair*, I ask you? In shock I said to myself "Well, I'll reap
>what they sow!" And, planting both feet firmly, tossed the damned thing in
>the compost pile.
>
>By this time I was back at the bunkhouse, so absorbed that I forgot to
>change my shoes and, needing a good dose of liberal-chic, left-wing
>lip-service couched in big words, I grabbed the latest "New Yorker" from
>the mail pile, eagerly anticipating elegant linquistic limning about art,
>movies, literature, style, politics, sociology, science, business, and all
>kinds of surprisingly weird stuff. Say, what is this magazine supposed to
>be "about" anyway? One writer quoted the Immortal Bard *out of context*!!
>Outrage! Unleash the lawyers! If you're going to use the guy's words, print
>the whole play -- or you'll sorely strain the quality of my mercy, if you
>know what I mean, and I'm sure that you do! (For the software types, that
>last reference was from "The Merchant of Venus", a very funny yarn about a
>cross-dressing, femi-nazi attorney and a debit card; originally produced
>down in SoHo by Larry Flint). And on another page there was an ad for a
>book of poems (yuck!) by one of the magazines' own writers! Impure!
>Mercenary! Unbelievably unethical! Next to that was a condemning review of
>a blast-and-blood babe flick that I liked. How *dare* they? If they didn't
>like "Squibs In Heat", they didn't have to go see it! What gives some
>Village Vamp the right to say "It sucked, thematically speaking" when I
>knew that millions of dollars had been spent, not on content admittedly,
>but to make millions more? What better "theme" is there? Justice, where is
>thy thing?
>
>At this  point, only some tunes would calm me down so I exchanged one set
>of Pooh-Pieds for another and reached for one of my fave pre-dive CDs.
>What's the world of publishing coming to, I mused. Here were magazines
>slanted, tainted, opinionated, personality-poisoned, politically polarized,
>aggressively commercial, one-sided and not-too-balanced, and mired in the
>human condition.
>
>How did it get this way -- or was it always this way? Why doesn't
>publishing on paper have the same purity and serene integrity as the
>internet and its ever-so-highly principled denizens?
>
>I might never sort all this out -- there's nobody to tell me what I should
>think.
>
>And there's still another question about "The Truth" that's nagging me: the
>wild rumor going around, started who-knows-where, that the entire Fear and
>Loathing piece was ghost-written by george himself -- to attract even more
>attention to himself -- and done in exchange for the resort-style
>instructor certification that he wanted so badly -- and got -- not so long
>ago.
>
>As the virtual needle slipped and scanned along the cyber-grooves of the
>silvered disc and the voices of Marley and the Wailers pulsed into the
>room, I received at least a partial answer.
>
>'Tis Bobby-lon, mon.
>
>
>
>
>
>Christopher A. Brown
>The Technical Diving Video Library     deepedge.com/TechVid
>Phone (US & Can.):606-272-0255; Fax:606-272-7279
>
>Life is short -- this is not a rehearsal.
>
>
>

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