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Cave diver? Good Lord, I ain't no steenkin cave diver! Nothing to kill
and eat in steekin caves. Just a bunch of those pale dudes you be talkin
'bout. And Pinky, try to get something to eat before you post, I mean you
wuzent describin' weenies, you wuz describin a *schmorgasboard*. And
baby, with *me* we're takin KUBULASA.
Your buddy, Jim Blobb (man, haven't heard that one since elementary
school...)
>Subject: Re: Lust on the High Seas: Nitemare on the Lil Phallic
>Sent: 10/15/96 2:45 AM
>Received: 10/15/96 8:46 PM
>From: TWOPINKS@ao*.co*
>To: cobber@mi*.co*
> Tech Diver, techdiver@terra.net
>CC: cavers@ge*.co*
>
>Nightmare on the Lil Phallic
>
>After a weekend of Vegas and a Pat Benatar concert along with a full choir of
>margaritas I came home to 80 tek diver posts {yawn} ..... and as I started to
>doze in my chair seeing the 69th Director WKPP GMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII image in
>my mind I guess I must have dozed off!!! { IN A DEEP ALPHA STATE}.....
>
>I was going diving with a girlfriend on the 80' ship the "Lil Phallic" an
>immaculate ship with not only a novel name but a hot tub too! Word had it
>that the dives were the best and the men were hot too!! After paying a small
>fortune for this event my girlfriend and I decided that the weekend
>liveaboard would be a fun experience! The anticipation of the weekend loomed
>over us like Christmas packages waiting to be unwrapped.... like two excited
>girls we watched the boat fill up with .....MEN!!
>
>As the boat soon reached its destination of a beautiful blue lagoon....we
>started to suit up in our lycra suits.... I left my zipper down a bit for
>that added sultry looking cleavage look .... hehehe....
>
>ALL OF A SUDDEN.... looking up at my friend, noticing her rigid movement and
>mouth agape....eyes glued in horror .... I said "Whats WRONG??" Following
>her darting eyes across the deck stood the whitest butt naked gluttius
>maximus's I had ever seen!!! In the blazing sun they glowed what seemed like
>80 in all... hairs a glistening!!
>
>Horror and sweat broke out on our faces, we hesitantly moved closer together
>towards each other.... then it happened.... they all turned around as if ....
>as a school of fish... all in sync, mimicking each other!!! Our eyes grew
>big as saucers at the pre-dive display. YIKES!!! We had paid for passage
>on a nudist dive boat.... a full frontal assault molested our eyes as 80
>bunches of grapes, 10 thuringers, 2 bratwurst, 3 knackwurst and a Kosher dill
>....along with a few Polish sausages ..... AND the rest had seen better days
>and hung like small old anchovy fish bait...that had all lost their heads!!!
>
>We looked at each other and didnt know whether to call fish and game for an
>undersized catch or bust out laughing???
>
>Then the whitest and smallest one came up to us apologetically and said his
>name was "Jim Blobb" and they were a an elite group of cave divers who
>usually dove in dark places, hence when they were able to get out they liked
>to catch a few rays!! "No problem" we said..... "we wont be bothering YOU!!"
> With that they all mounted their hi-gloss aluminum harness's with heart logo
>& ackronym of {gmiiiiiiiiiii} on the inside.... their double tanks and
>manifolds....hogarthian equipment of water proof tapes on "Doing it the Right
>Way" and ... a long hose that looked like tubing from an enema bottle....
>which was wrapped around their waists... which made us laugh cause of the
> apparent immense difference of hose lengths they wore! Oh yes and the usual
>pony bottle of spare air... with the usual shark repellants.... consisting of
>.....the DUDES ...old socks... Farbs recycled Quatzel with lime..... and
>Haberskis year old cat littered Sofnolime with McKennys comb to stir it up!
>
>
>It was nice to see there were no Dive Rite butt mounts anywhere ....but Jim
>really tried hard to mount his in with Skankey's help!!! Yuck!!
>
>They all jumped in sync into the water from the deck of the Lil
>Phallic......... I felt sorry for them after we laughed for the first 2
>hours!! Who would have believed that caves could do that to divers??? I was
>laughing so hard my head must have rolled and jerked me awake... I awoke in
>front of my screen to a new message from ..... RICH PYLE ....the fish
>doctor... on anchovies and their schooling and spawning habits!!! WOW ...
>deja vous!!!!
>
>I laughed a hearty laugh... yes I thought.... everything has a need to
>exist.... it is the fundamental drive of man to meet this need. I turned my
>puter off feeling a little more accepting and tolerant of things I did not
>fully understand.... and wondering how to classify this dream.........
>nightmare or horror???? LOL
>
>PINKY xxxx
>
>"And you shouldn't have to pay for your love with your bones and your
>flesh.... Hell is for cavers... and you know how their little lives can
>become such a mess!!!" PAT BENATAR
>
>
>
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