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Nightmare on the Lil Phallic
After a weekend of Vegas and a Pat Benatar concert along with a full choir of
margaritas I came home to 80 tek diver posts {yawn} ..... and as I started to
doze in my chair seeing the 69th Director WKPP GMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII image in
my mind I guess I must have dozed off!!! { IN A DEEP ALPHA STATE}.....
I was going diving with a girlfriend on the 80' ship the "Lil Phallic" an
immaculate ship with not only a novel name but a hot tub too! Word had it
that the dives were the best and the men were hot too!! After paying a small
fortune for this event my girlfriend and I decided that the weekend
liveaboard would be a fun experience! The anticipation of the weekend loomed
over us like Christmas packages waiting to be unwrapped.... like two excited
girls we watched the boat fill up with .....MEN!!
As the boat soon reached its destination of a beautiful blue lagoon....we
started to suit up in our lycra suits.... I left my zipper down a bit for
that added sultry looking cleavage look .... hehehe....
ALL OF A SUDDEN.... looking up at my friend, noticing her rigid movement and
mouth agape....eyes glued in horror .... I said "Whats WRONG??" Following
her darting eyes across the deck stood the whitest butt naked gluttius
maximus's I had ever seen!!! In the blazing sun they glowed what seemed like
80 in all... hairs a glistening!!
Horror and sweat broke out on our faces, we hesitantly moved closer together
towards each other.... then it happened.... they all turned around as if ....
as a school of fish... all in sync, mimicking each other!!! Our eyes grew
big as saucers at the pre-dive display. YIKES!!! We had paid for passage
on a nudist dive boat.... a full frontal assault molested our eyes as 80
bunches of grapes, 10 thuringers, 2 bratwurst, 3 knackwurst and a Kosher dill
....along with a few Polish sausages ..... AND the rest had seen better days
and hung like small old anchovy fish bait...that had all lost their heads!!!
We looked at each other and didnt know whether to call fish and game for an
undersized catch or bust out laughing???
Then the whitest and smallest one came up to us apologetically and said his
name was "Jim Blobb" and they were a an elite group of cave divers who
usually dove in dark places, hence when they were able to get out they liked
to catch a few rays!! "No problem" we said..... "we wont be bothering YOU!!"
With that they all mounted their hi-gloss aluminum harness's with heart logo
& ackronym of {gmiiiiiiiiiii} on the inside.... their double tanks and
manifolds....hogarthian equipment of water proof tapes on "Doing it the Right
Way" and ... a long hose that looked like tubing from an enema bottle....
which was wrapped around their waists... which made us laugh cause of the
apparent immense difference of hose lengths they wore! Oh yes and the usual
pony bottle of spare air... with the usual shark repellants.... consisting of
.....the DUDES ...old socks... Farbs recycled Quatzel with lime..... and
Haberskis year old cat littered Sofnolime with McKennys comb to stir it up!
It was nice to see there were no Dive Rite butt mounts anywhere ....but Jim
really tried hard to mount his in with Skankey's help!!! Yuck!!
They all jumped in sync into the water from the deck of the Lil
Phallic......... I felt sorry for them after we laughed for the first 2
hours!! Who would have believed that caves could do that to divers??? I was
laughing so hard my head must have rolled and jerked me awake... I awoke in
front of my screen to a new message from ..... RICH PYLE ....the fish
doctor... on anchovies and their schooling and spawning habits!!! WOW ...
deja vous!!!!
I laughed a hearty laugh... yes I thought.... everything has a need to
exist.... it is the fundamental drive of man to meet this need. I turned my
puter off feeling a little more accepting and tolerant of things I did not
fully understand.... and wondering how to classify this dream.........
nightmare or horror???? LOL
PINKY xxxx
"And you shouldn't have to pay for your love with your bones and your
flesh.... Hell is for cavers... and you know how their little lives can
become such a mess!!!" PAT BENATAR
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