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I am not him. I don't even look like him. John Todd walks with the countenance of an ox, and breathes the short hose... I am sleek, with antelope-like grace, and I swim with the ease of a dolphin. My hair flows out in ribbons of Gold, and I smell of the delicate fragance of frankincense and myrr. Women melt when in the presence of my naked abs, and men seek refuge from the terrible wrath contained within my rippled loins. My eyes burn with the fury of a thousand suns, and my feet are fleeter than the finest chariot. Wise men seek me out, and inscribe my every word in stone tablets. No, verily, you may not call me John Todd, for I have forsaken the square light, the butt-mount, the stuffed-hose, and the pestilence that befalls those who do deep-air. Any man who swims in the dark embrace of the cave, I beseech you, do not speak unto me the words "John Todd". For he who speaketh these words in my presence shall forever be damned to dive the wings of bondage through the portals of bad vis, with only his bic squeeze-light to guide him... Upon the land, there will be a great outcry upon his presence, and scorn and hatred shall be the only fruit from which he may eat. The womb of his camels shall be barren, and he shall be smitten by every serpent upon his path... So let it be written, so it shall be done. Kevin HeyyDude P.S. Exactly what did someone put in my coffee this morning???
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