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I noticed that although there is a spare air thread on every other dive 
associated forum in existence, there was no such topic on Techdiver. This 
makes me feel very disoriented so I thought I'd start one...

Well, I don't know about you guys, but the number one thing on *my* mind 
while spending those interminable hours on the decom stops is... *I Need 
A Fuckin Cigarette*. As a matter of fact, I let the mate know that 
there's a tenner in it for him if he has a lit cigarette headed for my 
mouth the second my head breaks the surface at the boarding ladder. I've 
tried nicotine chewing gum, but I was going through too many mouth 
pieces. I tried the patches but they attract man o'wars and sea wasps.

I tried a smoke injection unit on a oxygen hose dropped to the 20 stop, 
but the cig only lasts one puff (it's one hell of a puff, however, looks 
like a flashbulb going off). So I hit upon this brainstorm. This is a 
true two stones with one bird idea. First, take a diverite battery 
housing (don't worry, you'll only be using it at the 30 foot stop) and 
shove a tube with a valve in the cord hole. Then drill a hole in the side 
big enough to shove the spare air's mouth piece. Like so:

                          |
                          | line to surface
              -------------------------
        valve |                       |
       ___ T___________               |
exaust ___ |___________====== Cigibutt|
              |                       |
              ----------------||------- diverite housing
                              ||
                -------------\||
              |  spareair    =|)
                -------------/

Have the mate light the cig, shove it in the tube and then snap the 
housing shut, open the valve and give the purge button on the spare air a 
punch or two to prime the cig and pressurize the housing. Close the valve 
and lower the whole damn thing down to you with 10 or so lbs of lead 
attached.

Once the rig reaches you, well remember your buddy-breathing drill? You 
knew it was good for something, didn't you? SSssssssk....Aaaaaah, Sweet 
Release! I think that, with further research, a turrent arrangement can 
be fabricated for the chain-smokers out there. Might need a two-tank 
manfold, however.

And for those of you with a "politically correct" anti-smoking pissy 
attitude, it is a scientific fact that when your lungs are clogged with 
tar you consume less air. So there, you bunch of wussies.

  Jim

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