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Since everyone is cluttering the airwaves with the anti-oxidant argument...

I have come upon a miracle safeguard against O2 hits -

One day, before diving off the pier in San Pedro, I was hungry, so I ate my
usual lunch of 2 dozen Winchells Doughnuts (23 glaze and a Maple Long John
for dessert).  I then commenced my dive to 400fsw.  Unfortunately, I had
accidentally brought the O2 bottle from my dad's welding kit instead of the
acetylene bottle that me and Farb had modified for trimix.  

When I was down at 400, the 2 quarts of coffee that I drank for breakfast hit
me, so I had to remove my suit to go "number 2".  I did my "number 2" on some
old tires on the bottom (being careful not to sit on any of the disposed
hypodermic needles from the medical waste on the bottom), and surfaced.  It
was then, I realized that my 4 ft. tall bottle was indeed green, which meant
that I was breathing pure O2.  "Dang", I sez to myself, I should be dead
right now"  But I felt great.

I later was speaking with my doctor who runs a divers clinic/auto repair shop
and he told me that recent scientific studies done by chemists at the San
Pedro Community Adult Evening Vocational School (which is run by none other
than Sally Struthers) had determined that the bread/sugar/yeast combination
of Winchells doughnuts seems to totally absorb free radicals. 

Seems like all the mucoidal buildup in your lungs from eating all those
doughnuts creates a coating that stops free radicals at their source.

It also helps if you follow a strict regimen of doughnut and pork short-rib
diet on the days you are not diving.  Also, watching a minimum of 8 hours of
football on Sunday (with at least 2 six-packs handy) seems to add an "extra"
level of protection.

I plan to publish a book on the subject, available at your local second hand
dive shop- entitled "The Buoyant Diver - Sure You're Big and Fat, But Whales
Are Too".

In the meantime, anyone who wants to follow this regimen has to pay me and
Farb a royalty fee - that includes George too, he'
s not the only one with great ideas on the net... <g>

Kevin.
HeyyDude

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