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Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. He sent this to
his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was sponsoring a worst job
experience" contest. Needless to say, she won:

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so
I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with
a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of
year  the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of crap
sucks  the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It
then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to
the air hose. Now this sounds like a good plan, and I've used it several times
with
no  complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
I  take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a
few seconds my entire butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma
over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that
he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing
in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach
the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of  laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt  as soon as I get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for 2 days because my butthole was swollen shut.
So, next time your having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it  would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.


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