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Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1999 00:16:26 -0500
To: techdiver@aquanaut.com
From: Jeff Hirschman <Jeff_H@pi*.co*>
Subject: BAD DAY???? - funny forwards
Thought you might enjoy this!

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY
     
     (This was an article in the CALIFORNIA EXAMINER, March 20, 1998):
       
       Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section 
     of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire.  The 
     deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with a dive 
     tank, flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem examination revealed that 
     the person died not from burns but from massive internal injuries. 
     
     Dental records provided a positive identification.  Investigators then 
     set about determining how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle 
     of a forest fire.
       It was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the person went for a 
     diving trip off the coast - some 20 miles away from the forest.  The 
     firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, 
     called in a fleet of helicopters with very large buckets.  The 
     buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then flown to 
     the forest fire and emptied.  You guessed it. One minute our diver was 
     making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing a 
     breaststroke in a fire bucket 300 feet in the air.  Apparently, he 
     extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire. Some days it just doesn't pay 
     to get out of bed.
       
     STILL THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY?  THINK AGAIN.
     (The following is taken from a Florida newspaper:)
       
     A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in 
     the house in the kitchen.  The man was racing the engine on the 
     motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, 
     still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door 
     and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.
     
     The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her 
     husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying 
     next to him and the patio door shattered.  The wife ran to the phone
     and summoned an ambulance.
       
     Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the 
     several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics 
     to her husband.  After the ambulance arrived and transported the 
     husband to the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed 
     it outside. Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife 
     obtained some paper towels, blotted the gasoline, and threw the towels 
     in the toilet. The husband was treated at the hospital and was 
     released to come home. After arriving home, he looked at the shattered 
     patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle.
     
     He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and
     smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it 
     between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated.
     
     The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her 
     husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband 
     lying on the floor.  His trousers had been blown away and he was 
     suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin.  
     The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance. The same 
     ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street.
     
     The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying 
     him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street 
     accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the 
     husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started 
     laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the 
     husband out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.
       
     Now THAT is a bad day...
      
--
Jeff

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