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The following is a joke in keeping with the previous one entitled, "Looking for New Gear". How can you tell it's a joke? It is from "StrokeMe"; normally a serious post would be from a real name or a known handle/nickname. Why is it funny? It's not really, because it is not that far from reality. What is "the joke"? I am making fun of those that claim to be experts that obviously have no idea what they're doing. Many are instructors. Enjoy, C. Randy Bohrer Techdiver List: I just finished my first trimix course this weekend. It was great. I had two students, Jim and Bill. I forgot to book the pool for Friday night, so we had a classroom session instead. It was great! Jim's girfriend, Jill, brought a case of beer, which really took the edge off. Usually, when wives or girfriends who are not into diving accompany students in a class, they sort of stay quiet and keep to themselves, but she was a riot! Cracking jokes almost continuously. She was helpful in the class, too, since she had the only calculator. She is good in math and so was able to help Jim with the difficult calculations, like PO2. I was up pretty early on Saturday morning (about 9), but we still missed the charter boat, so we didn't get to dive. Probably a good thing, because I was feeling a little "seasick" from all that beer Friday night. Instead we had another classroom session. There, we tried out our gear "dry". I insisted that everyone have some sort of cage, cobra guard, etc. to protect their regulators. Jim went with the cobra guards, Bill took a piece of aluminum from an old storm window, cut it to form an inverted "U", and hose clamped it in place. Awesome! Simple, cheap, and effective. Jim bought a brand new tec bc/harness combo with plenty of D rings -- he'll have no problem finding places to clip things. Bill took an old SeaQest jacket BC and sewed D rings to it. For the doubles, he made an adapter that will allow any standard double bands to attach to the plastic backpack part of the BC. I'm using a second-hand tec BC that I borrowed from a friend of mine who no longer wants to dive (I'm hoping he'll sell it to me cheap). Our gear was all ready for Sunday, but we got blown out! Bill is taking his trimix instructor course next weekend so there's no time to schedule another dive. But he and Jim really seem to have it together. They're both dive masters and have made over 75 dives each (some of them boat dives). Jim even went through most of a instructor course. Anyway, their previous qualifications, combined with the imagination they showed in putting gear together really impressed me, so I certified them. I just made them promise to go out and do some practice dives before doing any "real" ones. Word has spread about my trimix course. Almost everyone I run into has heard that I'm doing it now. I'm not sure how many classes I can do; it's so hard to get space on a boat. This morning, I tried to book space on a charter for next weekend. A friend of mine said just last night that it might get cancelled for lack of people. But the boat owner told me this morning it was full! When I asked him for a schedule for next season, he said he would call me when he got one printed, but that it would be a while. It seems he doesn't want my business! Oh Well! Good Diving, StrokeMe, Former Administrative Assistant Underwater Applications Corp -- Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'. Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.
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