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I KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR EVERYONE. by George Irvine Listen to me, because I know what is best for everyone. There are a great many problems facing America and the dive community today, and I have all the answers to all of them. Everyone should listen to what I have to say and heed my advice because I am correct. When I say that oxygen cleaning is unnecessary nonsense done only by strokes, you should agree. It is crazy to pay a man $10 million just because he can put a ball in a hoop. Consuming a daily dose of Vitamin E will result in healthier, stronger dental tissue. We can prevent dozens of cave diving accidents simply by pulling the USDCT's Wakulla permit. No daughter of mine is going to step foot inside a church wearing a miniskirt. Those fat cats in Washington deserve each other. ScubaPro regulators are simply the best on the market. If your daughter is getting married, the groom's family should pay for bar expenses. Higher tariffs mean protection for America. It is important to support your local YMCA. Listen to me. We need longer jail terms for repeat drug offenders. If you are having a cookout to entertain friends, make both beef and chicken available. Mechanical rebreathers with dozens of moving parts are far safer and more reliable then CCRs with redundant electronics. I also know the solution to the issue of campaign-finance reform. I wrote a letter to Florida Today to inform the citizenry what needs to be done, and that letter was published on Oct. 9. If you wish to know what needs to be done about the problem of campaign finance, you should find a copy of the Oct. 9 Florida Today. How do I know about everything? That's simple: by being smarter than everyone else. Take, for example, one technical training agency's idea of dividing technical training into more courses. They are wrong, and I am right. Not only will that raise the cost of complete training for legitimate students, it will encourage low-commitment strokes to sign up for a one or two quick, cheap courses, thinking they are experts afterward. I have alerted the board members of the agency, but they have failed to heed my advice, because, as I mentioned earlier, they are not as intelligent as I am. One of the things I like best about myself is that not only do I know what is best for everyone, I always make sure to come forward with this information. I do not passively sit by, doing nothing about the problems around me. As soon as I determine what is right for my community, state or country, I speak up about it, writing a letter to the editor of a newspaper, talking about it loudly at a local park, writing about it on Internet mail lists, or forcing anyone who wants to dive with WKPP to DIR. I also know what is right for individuals. I recently informed two guys at Ginnie who were using square, butt mounted lights that they were strokes. They were not perceptive, so they didn't understand that a cylindrical battery pack will withstand more pressure than a rectangular one. They also failed to realize that butt mounting the lights makes them difficult to reach. Fortunately, I am extremely perceptive and observant and was able to intervene. Tomorrow, I am going to write a letter to USA Today about the problem of international terrorism. That will solve this serious problem once and for all. Thank goodness for me. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com -- Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'. Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.
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