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Diving fatalities are always damned depressing to me too. Maybe this will help. Solutions to the Captains' Dozen Problems: All captains incorporate their biz. Every diver signs waiver which includes clause saying that, for the ticket to ride, plus $5, the diver's family becomes stock-holder in boat/corporation. While you're out -- wherever you are in the world -- Captain calls Psychic Divers Network in Lauderdale and gets a "reading" on everyone's equipment. Captain makes sure none of boat crew has college education, ensuring business from Jammer and his platoon of loyal 18 yr. old, take-no-prisoners, drywall-hanging, apprentice anarchists. Captain offers discount to clergy, ensuring that missionary tag-team Cobb Mee will sign on and pontificate thoughout voyage. (Boat hand-out explains emergency procedures and the horror, the horror, of Tourette's.) Captain hires all female DM's for the rest of us -- who *like* to have our gear handled. Gays are *still* feeling left out but they can handle each other's gear. Tragedy strikes maybe: but diver's family is share-holder and can't sue its own-damned-self for liability/negligence. And if they tried, they'd be paying both sets of lawyers. (Of course both sets of lawyers work for the same firm, but that's another story.) Diver survives: under way on return trip, corporation votes to buy out the diver's share and gives diver's $5 back upon return to shore. Minus broker's fee of $4.95 of course. Simple. Pissides, this way, fatalities on the Doria won't be preventing me from finding new caves to dive down here in Florida anymore. See the connection? No? Exactly. This technique, which I learned from the internet (Free!), is called "CIR" -- or "Confusing the Issues Right". ;-) Christopher A. Brown The Technical Diving Video Library http://www.aulinc.com/video.htm ameruwlite@ao*.co*, Fax: 352.669.1256, or Phone: 352.669.5483 Life is short -- this is not a rehearsal. -- Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'. Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.
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