Mailing List Archive Mailing List Archive
Once upon a time there was this big fat slob pompus ahole who decided to start a scuba training agency. Taking the advice of his accountants, he developed a scheme to soak divers for all the are worth. Knowing that divers are a macho, manly lot, he created the holy grale called trimix. All the divers were in awe! "I wanna do trimix, I wanna do trimix" they all chanted. "Why, sure, I'll teach you trimix, and when you have the trimix patch, all other divers will kiss your neoprene covered asses and you will get untold amount of scuba bootie". "Trimix!, Trimix!" they chanted. "But wait! before you can reach the holy of holies, you must suffer the 3 trials of the damned, nitrox, technical nitrox and deepair, and it will cost you, yes cost you dearly" "Yes" the divers chanted "Yes we will do your bidding" and they all broke out their checkbooks. The BFPAH was amazed! "Goodness, this trimix thing is a powerful elixer, I think the rifraf will suffer yet many more trials!" "Yes" they chanted, as not only are scuba divers macho and manly, but they are also masochists "Yes, give us more trials". And they broke out their checkbooks. The BFPAH was truly astonished! "I must find yet more ways of soaking the sodden fools" thought he "Ahhh, yes, the semi-closed circuit nitrox rebreather" And he said to the divers "there is yet one more trial you must suffer" and the divers said "Yes Yes, let us suffer more" For divers are not only macho, manly masochists, the are also not very bright. The BFPAH was loving life at this point, raking in "tens of millions" on the poor, gullible divers. Unfortunately, the trials were taking their toll. Some were not surviving the trial of the deep air, and the rebreather trial is starting to loose paying customers as well. "HA" said the BFPAH, "there 's plenty more where those came from." "Yes" chanted the divers "Yes, theres a whole bunch of us" For divers are not only macho, manly, masochistic, dim bulbs, they also glorify in the danger of their sport. But in the horizon, a bright light shone. Blazing out of mammoth tunnel, with a Gavin scooter in one hand and plate of sushi in the other is the Red Knight. "You bunch of stupid idiots" he intoned "what in the fuck are you doing?" "Huh?" chorused the masses of macho, manly, masochistic, dim bulb divers. "You stupid morons are being taken by the BFPAH and left for dead!" "Huh?" chorused the masses yet again. With a mighty sweep of his powerful arm the Red Knight hits the divers in their thick-skulled heads with a huge 2X4. Having got their attention, he explained "YOU IDIOTS ARE DYING ON DEEP AIR!" "Oh!" stated the masses. "You need to be using trimix" "Yes" the newly educated masses chanted "Trimix!, Trimix!". And so it was done. The Red Knight told the masses about trimix and pretty much let the cat out of the bag, and the camel under the tent. The BFPAH saw dark cloud brewing over his mighty empire. The natives were restless and the troops unsure. "I will fix the Red Knight" said he "I will send false messages to the Gods and blame it on him!" So the BFPAH sent his minions out to do dirty, slimey, lying, backstabbing deeds against the Red Knight. The dive Gods, looking down from above, are watching this mighty battle. To the looser will come disaster and ruin. They see the BFPAH using his unclean tactics, for they are all knowing and all seeing and also hold the mortgage on his house. "Oh ho" they said "we have received blasphemous messages from below, and who is the source of these messages?" "ah, er, uh, why the Red Knight did it" sputtered the BFPAH, "and my lawyers will prove it!" So the BFPAH sent out his lawyers, who, recognizing some easy money, set up a retainer and and expense account and set out on the lucratively impossible task of proving that the BFPAH's own messages were not his own. "How long will it take to pillory the Red Knight?" With a perfectly straight face the lawyers say "Oh, this will take some time, a loooooong time" as they rubbed their hand together. The Dive Gods smiled down from the heavens knowing that what comes around, go's around. And give a stupid BFPAH enough rope, he will surely hang himself. And it was good. Thats enough for tonight, children, now go to bed. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Learn About Trimix At http://www.cisatlantic.com/trimix/trimix.html -- Send mail for the `techdiver' mailing list to `techdiver@aquanaut.com'. Send subscribe/unsubscribe requests to `techdiver-request@aquanaut.com'.
Navigate by Author:
[Previous]
[Next]
[Author Search Index]
Navigate by Subject:
[Previous]
[Next]
[Subject Search Index]
[Send Reply] [Send Message with New Topic]
[Search Selection] [Mailing List Home] [Home]