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FORM FLAME
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear:
[ ] sir [ ] clueless one [ ] twit [ ] great man on campus
[ ] madam [ ] dweeb [ ] twerp [ ] comrade [ ] moron
[ ] Elvis [ ] moon beam [ ] boor [ ] Obergruppenfuehrer
[ ] citoyen [ ] Geek [ ] grad student [ ] cur [ ] boneheads
[ ] Republican [ ] Democrat [ ] Liberal [ ] Conservative
[ ] Communist [ ] Dilbert [ ] Dogbert [ ] Ratbert
[ ] Catbert [ ] Jerk
[X]Farm Animials, strokes, and Annom Posters
[ ] Other ( )
You are being flamed because.
[X] you continued a boring useless stupid thread
[ ] you repeatedly posted to the same thread that you just posted to
[ ] you repeatedly initiated incoherent, flaky, and mindless threads
[X] you posted some sort of crap that doesn't belong in this group
[X] you threatened others with physical harm
[ ] you made a bigoted statement(s)
[ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted moral or intellectual superiority
[ ] you are under the misapprehension that this group is your preserve
[ ] you repeatedly have shown lack of humor
[ ] you posted an obvious troll
[X] you assumed that AOL/CIS/Prodigy founded the Internet
[X] you neglected to do research on the chosen subject
[ ] you asked a question that was covered in the available FAQ
[X] you redundantly covered the same point over and over
[X] you assumed that the Internet is a U.S. only phenomenon
[ ] you crossposted excessively
[ ] you, in any way, make, shape, or form, agreed with Senator Exon
[ ] Repeatedly requested info on where to find XXX stuff.
[X] Repeatedly harassed people with androgynous names like Chris, Jamie, or
Rajhatmalhaban, with "Are you a girl?" or "M/F?" questions.
[ ] you, in any way, make shape, or form, used the term(s)
[ ] "infobahn" [ ] "Neutopia" [ ] "synergy" [ ] "warez"
[ ] "SUX" [ ] "wymyn" [ ] "ROOLZ"
[ ] KEWL/KOOL/K0oL [ ] "information superhighway"
[ ] any typically or inherently racist or anti-semitic term
[X] any homophobic term
[ ] Other annoying term:
[ ] you discussed the following in a non-nutcase newsgroup;
[ ] hollow earth theory [ ] alien President theory
[ ] orbital mind control frisbees [ ] faith healing
[ ] government weather control [ ] Russian psychics
[ ] Squeaky Fromme [ ] the nation of France
[ ] robot spy bees [X] sexually promiscuous space aliens
[ ] "Manos, the Hands of Fate" [ ] Beavis & Butthead anything
[ ] flat earth theory [ ] government consipiracy theory
[ ] the veracity of any X-Files plot (see all of the above)
[ ] Other:
[ ] you considered the following to be reliable reference sources;
[X] Golden Books' "Exploring Science", printed 1955
[X] Any program covered by Talk Soup or [ ] SNL News
[X] Oliver Stone [X] Hard Copy [X] Inside Edition
[X] The National Enquirer [ ] The Sun [ ] NY Post
[ ] The Union Leader [ ] Pravda [ ] OMNI Magazine
[ ] Company Marketing Hype [ ] Microsoft [X] The Simpsons
[X] An unidentified, but obviously stupid, person or publication
[ ] Other:
In the future, you may wish to;
[ ] do not delete the "welcome to the list" message you recieved when you
joined
[ ] remember that not all newsreaders are threaded
[ ] recall that there are academic and commercial users on the net
[ ] remember that the Internet is multinational
[X] consider that others may know more about certain subjects than you
[ ] exercise some humility
[X] 'lurk' without posting for a few days to learn the forum of a group
[ ] take personal discussions or stupid/boring threads or certain inane
questions to email
[X] get used to being mocked
[X] stop volunteering for Armed Forces pharmaceutical experiments
[X] join your people on your planet of origin
[ ] remove the pipe from your nether regions
[X] buy a nice fiery lakefront plot in the Hell you so richly deserve
I would like like to suggest that, for the common good, you;
[X] wait at least two hours before responding to another post
[X] read the FAQ (frequently asked questions) list for the group
[ ] learn to use the 'kill' command to eliminate erroneous posts
[X] post only to alt.dev.null
[ ] selectively respond to threads after reading all new messages in
that thread
[ ] voluntarily apologize in a brief post
[X] shop for clues at a better clue shop
[X] no longer contribute to this newsgroup/mailing list
[X] no longer contribute to any newsgroup/mailing list
[X] no longer contribute to the gene pool
[X] look into the possibility of medication for the above problems
[ ] familiarize yourself with the history of the Internet
[ ] familiarize yourself with the concept of:
[ ] patience [ ] tolerance [ ] caution
[ ] common courtesy [ ] succinctness
[ ] vocabulary [X] higher brain functions
[ ] Other:
[X] Re-install what ever failed mental operating system
you are currently running on
Please save this message and review it occasionally to determine
your progress toward being;
[ ] a useful member of Internet society
[ ] a less annoying member of Internet society
[ ] a human being
[ ] a fully-functional human being
[ ] a tolerable poster
[ ] integrated into humanity
[x] re-integrated into the wild
[ ] Other:
Thank you for taking the time to read this form flame.
Jeoff
sorry about the use of the band width :)
--
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