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When men begin to lecture other men, the listeners are experienced at trying
to sidetrack the lecture, or match it, or derail it. Making authoritative
pronouncements may be the way to begin an exchange of information. But, women
are not used to responding in that way. They see little choice but to listen
attentively and wait for their turn to be alloted to them rather than to
seize it themselves. The man may become as bored and frustrated as the woman
when his attempt to begin an exchange of information ends in his giving a
lecture. From his point of view, she is passively soaking up information, so
she must not have any to speak of. One of the reasons men's talk to women
frequently turns into lecturing is because women listen attentively and do
not interupt with challenges, sidetracks, or matching information. Great
stuff, guys. Talk like that to the one you love and you'll be doing it with
your hand for the next few weeks. Good diving, Inez

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