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on 6/21/00 4:30 PM, Todd Leonard at toddleonard@mi*.co* wrote: > Over the approximately two days it took > her to die (depending on how you choose to define death), I held her > children, tried to answer their questions, tried to help them understand > what had happened -- that regardless of how long the machines kept > pumping the mother they knew was already gone. Over the months and now > years since then they still have questions, still want to know "why". > You know why. > > Those who are still smoking in the face of these terrible lessons > confound and enrage me. You selfish fuckers, pull your head out of your > ass and look around you. Look in the eyes of your children, your > family, and think for a moment about the price you're demanding they pay > for your addiction, about the nightmare you're willing to create for > them. This isn't just about you. You have responsibilities, and > smoking prevents you from fulfilling them. It's that simple. I can > understand not caring enough about yourself to break free, but cannot > begin to comprehend willful disregard for the people you love and the > world around you. Yes, it's hard. Quit anyway, and do it now. Not > quitting is worse, whether you live to see it or not. You _can_ stop, > and for most of you it's not too late to recover from much of the damage > you've been doing. Todd, Thanks for relaying your story here--I know it took some effort. I'm sorry for your loss. It's one thing to lose parents. One expects that in the natural order of things that at some point your parents will die. It's the unnatural way of my Mom's death that haunts me. It's quite another thing when a young person like your girlfriend dies well before her time and leaves young children. I have close friends who smoke and it aggravates me every time they light up not because I'm worried about second-hand smoke (although I am), but because I don't want to make any more such vigils - not for people I care about. Cigarettes are highly addictive. My Mom was a pretty tough gal but she couldn't quit and my Father took several years to quit - it's tough and I sympathize with those of you who still smoke but who want to quit and can't. I'm not sure it helps to demonize you, but if you smoke and you are in a position of influence, especially such a health-oriented activity such as diving, you have a higher bar of responsibility. It doesn't make you seem tough to be the Marlboro man, it just makes you seem weak. But bar none, it's far and away the very best thing you can do to improve the quality of your life and to save your life. Nothing else you do, exercise, eating healthy, avoiding drugs, nothing will do so much to improve your health. And there is no worse way to die. Ironically in the late 70s I lived in Gainesville, FL for five years, from 77 to 82. For three years I delivered oxygen and breathing equipment (IPPBs, inhalers & etc) to patients around North Florida. Some had lung cancer, some had emphysema and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. In every case, to a person I would get asked, "Do you smoke?" "No" "Thank God, son, whatever you do, don't start." They all said the same thing, "I was stupid." But it doesn't occur to you when you have that craving after a meal and a butt tastes good then and you feel healthy and you think "it won't happen to me." But it will. At some point there will be some kid like I was delivering an oxygen bottle or IPPB unit to your trailer and showing you how to cough out the brown sputum and relieve the pressure. You won't be able to take five steps without losing your breath. Or you'll be on morphine and breathing huge amounts of oxygen just so you don't suffocate on room air. And many of you will die alone and broke. I've seen families rally 'round patients and set up the bed in the living room so they will always feel loved and I've also seen families that banish the person to a garage or Florida room where the lights are dimmed, A/C runs all the time and so does the O2 and the morphine. They are already dead, the family is just waiting out the formality of the actual death. As I made my rounds I often stopped over at Chiefland and got lunch and went swimming at Manatee or stopped in over at Peacock. I didn't cave dive or even dive then. Some of you were diving and exploring caves that I only saw the tops of. You have my respect. If you do scuba dive and you smoke, quit. Don't mess around. Stop making excuses and acting like it's a personal thing, it's not. Ignore the insults and admonishments and do it. Everyone will support you. Unless you have no family, no friends, no dive buddies and are personally wealthy and can afford to pay for your own treatment out of your own pocket (because insurance doesn't pay it all), then it IS someone else's business. It's funny. The central, most important part of scuba diving is breathing and the single most effective way to destroy your ability to breathe (other than drowning & etc) is to smoke cigarettes. Todd, my best to you and your family. Later, JoeL
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