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Some of these are not new but still worth reading... > >--------------------------------- >They have finally been released! For those not familiar with the Darwin >Award-It's an annual honor given to the person who provided the universal >human gene pool the biggest service by getting killed in the most >extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been >keen. > > >DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES > >1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned >in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide >sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. > >2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally >zoned out when he ran," according to his wife, accidentally jogged off a >200-foot-high cliff on his daily run. > >3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had >dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beachgoers said Daniel >Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been >sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it >collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on >the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way >to Jones, a >resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue >workers >using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people >looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. > >4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he >fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. >Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth >(to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the >floor. > >5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, >was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who >was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest that >Berrena was wearing. > >6. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, >27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie >in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles. > >BUT THE WINNER IS... > >PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his >constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a >bushel of berries, figs, and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm >finally let fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! >Investigators say that the ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give >the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded >on him like a dump truck full of mud. "The sheer force of the >elephant's >unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he >struck his head >on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his >bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik >Dern. >"With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an >hour before a watchman came along, and during that time, the keeper >suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that >happen." > > > >Cheers >
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